“Fifteen seconds. That’s all it takes to completely change everything about a person. Fifteen.”
It Ends With Us was the first book by Colleen Hoover that made it onto my tbr-pile. Grabbing it, I knew nearly nothing about this book – not even the plot. I was intrigued by it because I read many great reviews about it and I could see how many people in the bookish community freaked out over it. Normally I read at least the synopsis of the book, but in this case I didn’t. In fact I read it the first time somewhere in the middle of the book. So all in all – I had real high expectations concerning this book.
Do you want a naked truth about It Ends With Us? The book delivered an extremely important message right from the start. All in all it deals with abusive relationships – and that’s exactly what I didn’t expect. I expected a light reading with lots of romance and feels. Because that was exactly what I needed. And didn’t get. Obviously. I had a very hard time reading the book since I am not really accustomed to this genre. And at this point I am not sure whether I’ll become a part of Hoover’s fanbase. It’s not that I don’t like her or that I hated the book. I just think that this is not my kind of read. So please don’t tell me that I didn’t get the message. Because I did.
It’s a story of abuse and I don’t want to glorify it or anything else. This topic is extremely heavy and I think it is amazing that Colleen Hoover wrote a book about it. The book shows that there are different forms of abusive relationships – in families as well as in relationships. And that it’s not easy for the victims to deal with it or end it. It helps to visualize the hints of abusive relationships. How you can detect them. And how hard it can be to actually realize that you are – in fact – in such a relationship. Luckily, I never had one like that so this was new for me. Still I don’t know whether people with abusive relationships would enjoy this book.
And I have to admit that I always thought “Why don’t the victims just end such a relationship? Why don’t they walk away?”. As I said before – I haven’t encountered an abusive relationship myself. So maybe that’s why I thought walking away was easy, simple. And yes, I’m ashamed for thinking like an ignorant piece of bone and flesh. But after reading It Ends With Us I finally got to know how it is to love somebody. Because this punch was an accident, right? And I will walk away when it happens again. Or again. Or again …
“The last thing you want to do is lose sight of your limit. Please don’t allow that to happen… We all have a limit. What we’re willing to put up with before we break.”
No, it’s definitely not as simple as that. I learned that from this very book. You simply cannot walk away from someone you love even if he/she hurts you. But it is more than necessary to remind oneself to think about the limits you had. The limits you set yourself and the limits that are so important to not cross. And you can not imagine how badly I wish for everyone in an abusive relationship to be able to just walk away. But I know it doesn’t work like that. But because of that I have gained so much respects for all the men and women who managed to put oneself first and turned their back on said relationship. I really do. It Ends With Us showed me that you really cannot define someone without knowing their story. And I’m more than thankful for learning this lesson.
Still I had – as mentioned before – some major issues with this book. There are some descriptions which made me cringe – I’m especially picky about how sex scenes are written and Colleen Hoover’s style simply doesn’t work for me. I don’t enjoy the words she used so I tried to fly through these passages. On the other hand the happening of falling in love with someone did not work for me. There were moments from the past life of Lily – naming how Atlas fell in love with her all these years ago – and I wasn’t sure how to deal with those. It was too glamorized and too perfect for myself. Also I find the summary of the book extremely misleading. One could assume that there is an oncoming love triangle – a topic I don’t particularly enjoy – but let me reassure you. There is not a single moment in this book where a love triangle occurs. Yes, there are more than one relationship, but one after another. So this is a topic which is totally fine with me.
My thoughts about this book are still a bit tumbled and it’s difficult for me to even find the right words to what I want to say. How did you like the book, in case you’ve read it? And in case you are in an abusive relationship – if you want to talk about whatever, feel free to talk to me!